The Art of Insult – Snub like Shakespeare

 

Funny T-shirt of Shakespearean Insults

“Dweeb” not working for you? Recycle Methods of Hate-Slinging from O.G. Demean-King himself, William Shakespeare.

 

william-shakespeare-shakespearean-insultsToday’s curse words and methods of insulting peers, friends, enemies, or random people on the street have lost their value. Plastered on the Internet, aired on live TV, thrown around the workplace and schoolyard – all of the common slang terms have fallen victim to semantic satiation. If someone calls you an ass, a douchebag, or an idiot, you are probably capable of a quick recovery with little thought consecrated to self-reflection/improvement.

Insults can waver three types of results. They are as follows:

  1. Receiver laughs at slinger for lack of creativity, thus creating a bounce back effect, leaving the slinger defeated, belittled, and embarrassed. Fail.
  2. The insults being used DO penetrate the enemy’s surface, but not deep enough for surrender. Instead, they fire back with something worse and once again, Fail.
  3. Nemesis is hit with something they don’t quite understand, but if delivered with proper malice, they know its bad. After they have Googled it, they will then have to face the meaning behind the insult, AS WELL AS the fact that they were too stupid to know what was said. Opponent is left feeling entirely diminished. Win!

This Shakespearean Insults T-shirt is more than a shirt. It’s ammunition for your next battle with a bully, co-worker, sibling, or boss (only if you do not plan to keep your job). Below you will find a list of insults and their modern meanings that have remained uncommon long enough, that there is no risk of impact dilution due to culture-driven saturation.

 

 

Trunk of Humors
Trunk of Bodily Fluids
Henry IV Part 1: Act 2: Scene 4

Bolting-Hutch of Beastliness
The ugliest part of a beast
Henry IV Part 1: Act 2: Scene 4

Swollen Parcel of Dropsies
Big Sack of Disease
Henry IV Part 1: Act 2: Scene 4

Huge Bombard of Sack
Huge Jug of Wine
Henry IV Part 1: Act 2: Scene 4

Stuffed Cloakbag of Guts
Stuffed Suitcase of Guts
Henry IV Part 1: Act 2: Scene 4

Roasted Manningtree Ox with Pudding in His Belly
A Roasted Ox Crammed with Pudding from the smallest town in England
Henry IV Part 1: Act 2: Scene 4

Reverend Vice
Corrupt Villain
Henry IV Part 1: Act 2: Scene 4

Grey Iniquity
Wicked Old Person
Henry IV Part 1: Act 2: Scene 4

Father Ruffian
Old Devil
Henry IV Part 1: Act 2: Scene 4

Vanity in Years
Proud with nothing to be Proud of
Henry IV Part 1: Act 2: Scene 4

Deboshed Fish
Drunken Fish
The Tempest Act 3, Scene 2

O Gull! O Dolt! As Ignorant as Dirt!
Stupid Fool, Idiot, dumb as dirt
Othello Act 5, Scene 2

Knave
Deceitful and Unreliable Scoundrel
King Lear Act 2, Scene 2

Filthy Bung
Dirty Thief
Henry IV Part 2 Act 2, Scene 4

Peasant Swain
Unwashed Farmworker
The Taming of the Shrew Act 4, Scene 1

Light of Brain
Crazy, Lost Mind
Othello Act 4, Scene 1

You Sheath
Empty Sheath (case for a sword), Loser
Henry IV Act 2, Scene 4

You Naughty Mocking Uncle
Verbally Abusive and Badly Behaved
Troilus and Cressida Act 4, Scene 2

Dishonest Wretch
Lying Sad Person
Measure for Measure Act 3, Scene 1

Ill-Faced
Ugly
The Comedy of Errors Act 4, Scene 2

Beast
Wild Animal
Richard III Act 1, Scene 2

Vile Worm
Gross Insect
The Merry Wives of Windsor Act 5, Scene 5

Dunghill
Pile of Poop
King Lear Act 4, Scene 6

Castilian King Urinal
Fancy Toilet
The Merry Wives of Windsor Act 2, Scene 3

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Written by Kelly Fritz

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