Ode to the Tribble
Ode to the Tribble
by Theresa Bane
Blogs: The final on-line frontier. This is a parody poem in familiar pentameter mocking the Star Trek season two episode entitled “The Trouble with Tribbles.” My mission: to stretch rhyming couplets, to link sci-fi genere ideas into main stream ideas, to boldly blog on tribbles as no one else has done before!
For what you are about read and endure, I deeply thank you all for your patience and understanding.
The trouble with tribbles
is tricky you see,
’cause their cute, warm, and fuzzy
and such fun to squeeze!
They hum and they vibrate
and purr like a cat,
addictively sweet
as they trill on your lap.
In the blackness of space
no one hears you scream
as nastier critters
burst forth from your spleen.
Some aliens are droids
and others Ewoks
with big silly feet that flip while they flop.
But the tribble is perfect,
oblongishly round
and comes in all colors
of white, black, and brown.
They have no feet
so no muddy paw tracks;
and they have no tail
that wags forth and back.
No ears, no ear-mites,
quite the nice treat;
and having no mouth
means they have no big teeth.
So what’s the attraction?
What’s the allure?
No one is certain
of that much I’m sure.
All I can say
is they love you right back.
These fuzzy little rocks
are as addictive as crack!
And if one is good,
are not ten that much better?
Relax, they’re born pregnant
you’ll soon have a litter.
One begot twenty
and then forty-nine.
Hey, want a tribble?
Here, have some of mine.
At least they hate Klingons
and are teleporter safe.
We’ll beam them to a Bird of Prey
Whew! Now we’re safe!
So if you like your monsters
murderous, snarling, or blue,
grab a trashcan and plunger
and go watch Doctor Who!
I thank you!
QtR – Theresa Bane
Vamirologist and Sci-Fi Fan girl
Theresa Bane
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