The Art of Insult – Snub like Shakespeare
The Art of Insult – Snub like Shakespeare
“Dweeb” not working for you? Recycle Methods of Hate-Slinging from O.G. Demean-King himself, William Shakespeare.
Today’s curse words and methods of insulting peers, friends, enemies, or random people on the street have lost their value. Plastered on the Internet, aired on live TV, thrown around the workplace and schoolyard – all of the common slang terms have fallen victim to semantic satiation. If someone calls you an ass, a douchebag, or an idiot, you are probably capable of a quick recovery with little thought consecrated to self-reflection/improvement.
Insults can waver three types of results. They are as follows:
- Receiver laughs at slinger for lack of creativity, thus creating a bounce back effect, leaving the slinger defeated, belittled, and embarrassed. Fail.
- The insults being used DO penetrate the enemy’s surface, but not deep enough for surrender. Instead, they fire back with something worse and once again, Fail.
- Nemesis is hit with something they don’t quite understand, but if delivered with proper malice, they know its bad. After they have Googled it, they will then have to face the meaning behind the insult, AS WELL AS the fact that they were too stupid to know what was said. Opponent is left feeling entirely diminished. Win!
This Shakespearean Insults T-shirt is more than a shirt. It’s ammunition for your next battle with a bully, co-worker, sibling, or boss (only if you do not plan to keep your job). Below you will find a list of insults and their modern meanings that have remained uncommon long enough, that there is no risk of impact dilution due to culture-driven saturation.
| Trunk of Humors Trunk of Bodily Fluids Henry IV Part 1: Act 2: Scene 4Bolting-Hutch of Beastliness The ugliest part of a beast Henry IV Part 1: Act 2: Scene 4Swollen Parcel of Dropsies Big Sack of Disease Henry IV Part 1: Act 2: Scene 4 Huge Bombard of Sack Stuffed Cloakbag of Guts Roasted Manningtree Ox with Pudding in His Belly Reverend Vice Grey Iniquity Vanity in Years Deboshed Fish O Gull! O Dolt! As Ignorant as Dirt! |
Knave Deceitful and Unreliable Scoundrel King Lear Act 2, Scene 2
Peasant Swain Light of Brain You Sheath You Naughty Mocking Uncle Dishonest Wretch Ill-Faced Beast Wild Animal Vile Worm Dunghill Castilian King Urinal |
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